.. misSin wordS ..

So.. writing after a long time here!~

Yeah, was inactive for a long time. But what to do, didn't feel like writing anything here!~...

Things have been written on pages.. and would be posted as and when heart desires!~

Till then, enjoy and farewell! :)

meRi daastan ... MY STORY ♥ < Part 7 >

PreviOus ParTs!

> PART 6 <

> PART 5 <

> PART 4 <

> PART 3 <

> PART 2 <

> PART 1 <

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Until, One Day......... When Me called He ...

( rinnggg....!`~ __ )

he : hello... hie! howz u ?

me : hiee... i'm fine. howz u?!

he : cool! so kya chal raha hai aaj kal....

me : nothing much!! studies n all..... u say!~

he : same here!.... so aur bata!

me : ....................(pause) no reply!

he : hey, u there?

me : sorry, gotta go.. bye!!

_____

Me had an ocean of feelings inside her heart to say to him.... she had tons! but, she wasn't able to....

if that were so easy, life and the world would be so much less complicated!!!..isnt it?!

_____________

Anyways, so, Me called. They didn't talk much. But, yeah...conversations started.

Don't know what happened to 'me' that she was ready to listen to "he's" point of view. THE FRIENDSHIP WASN'T OVER YET! It still had a long way to go!!!....

Definitely, the trust that me had in he was lost. The friendship wasn't as good as before, but atleast it was there. Me and He weren't miserable about things and they were talking!!! :) ... Talks happened. Things again begun to be shared.... He continued to love me (secretly), and Me had grown far so much detached from He.!!!>..... Yeah!!!! Me had succeeded in making herself apart from He............ 

But, as they say - "Love never dies" ... And how so ever me showed that she was detached from he, she did love him.... Deep down in the heart, she belonged with he!!!!

The inseparable bond was still there....

Me loved he... He loved me!

Just the words were needed to bridge the gap!!!....

Words.....

It were only words... and words that were needed...

to take the hearts away!! <3

 ~ PART 8 : tO be cOntinu3d ! ~ 

lovin' u .. ♥

and .... you will never know what it feels like to be in love with u!!!...
coz... that feeling can just be experienced by me!! 

< crazzzy for u, baby! >

i love you sooo mucch!!! ♥ :*

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the feeling can't be described in words !!!....
all the words, the song lines, the quotes fail to describe what i have for you in my heart! ♥

'Love' too is a small word in front of the infinite emotions i have for you!! ♥ ...

Speech by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis

Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced,successful life. I use the word balanced before successful.Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions...

"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.One thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …………….

It’s ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices………"

"Don’t be serious, be sincere."!!!

closer .. ♥

Lying on the bed, as i gaze at the corner of the room, lost.. Thoughts of you flood my mind..

Your messages, your calls, those love you's, the never ending smiles, teases, fights, the butterflies that i get everytime i talk to you..

Oh gosh! I'm crazy for you..

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As i'm lying down, smiling stupidly, suddenly you come over and hug me, so tight!.. And i'm all cuddled up in you, hearing your heartbeat as you kiss my forehead and caress my hair, and kiss me again!..

I breathe deep, #satisfaction!..

All the pains vanish, all the sadness goes away, as i'm lying there, in your arms, wrapped in you..

As i turn over, you grab me from my waist, not letting me go, moving your fingers on my tummy, rubbing your nose on my neck, tickling me,. As i come closer to you!.. ♥

________________

I love you, baby, sooooo much!! I just wanna be in you, love you, and LIVE YOU!..

Can spend the whole life like this, being in your hug, just the two of us..

Silence, and calmness, and peace, and we!... <3

Silence !!

Your silence is like a double edge sword, keeps me loving you more & tears me apart, but i can take it because post it would be a calmer you, yea i would know bit late what all troubles you, but nevertheless i am with you & would love you as much as i can do!

I know you love me too :')

___________

Wanna Delete this blog... Wanna delete everything...

Just want to sit back, alone.. with my guitar...... and play till my fingers bleed!!!!

Seems like I'm losing myself...!!!! :'(
I wanna stop all the feelings hurling inside this damn heart... and just........

UhhHhhhhh!!!!! Forget Everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For me 'Love' is just one name and the name is 'Yours' ♥

Seeing ur name.... I breathe deep!!!... Don't know what happens, but instantly i'm smiling, thoughtful, insane, lost..and 1000 other things all together!!!!

Your name... Those alphabets seem the best in the world.. No other word sounds or reads so perfect as your name!!! And then, suddenly, everything vanishes, and i'm just surrounded by your memories, your voice, moments with you........... (goshh!!!.... this girl's insane!!!!)

I guess, i'm!!... and I can't help it..!!! I haven't become those devdas typess... all desperate et al..

But come on!!!... How can i do anything about these fantasies etc...

This craziness... me too experiencing first time...

I ain't an experienced player in this battleground of heart!!!

This all happening first time!!!

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Goshh!!! I'm gonna go all crazzy ... Why do i feel you in each and everything??!!!

Every time the  phone rings, i wish that you called!

Every time i walk down the road, i stumble, coz i have been thinking about you!

Every time i check my mails, i wish to see your message!

Every time i see a girl and boy together, i wish it were we!

Every time you ain't here, i miss you soo much more!

Every time i realize about your absence, i fall for you all over again!

Every time i smile, there's something missing in that curve!!

Every time i write something like this, i wish i wasn't doing this...

__________________________________

 ·٠• "For me 'Love' is just one name and the name is Yours" •٠· 

( now this ain't my fault!!! )

yOur vOice .. ♥

Your voice keeps echoing everywhere....

In the midst of ear shattering noise, i hear your sound - SO CLEAR!

Every word that you spoke, is lived again....
I breath deep.. Close my eyes, and am feeling you again!!..

And in the end, all i'm left with is a stupid smile, and a few lost moments..

Moments, when i go numb to everything around me.. when nothing bothers me, but you!!! ♥

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I get lost in 'our' own lil' world.. with my favourite music being played - YOUR VOICE! :)

_________

Oh! I'm crazzy about your voice.. I hardly recall any other person's voice about whom i had such insanity!..
All singers, maestros fail.. infront of my fav voice - yours! .... with the best lyrics any tone ever had..!!

I Love You, Baby!! :*

meRi daastan ... MY STORY ♥ < Part 6 >

PreviOus ParTs!

> PART 5 <
> PART 4 <
> PART 3 <
> PART 2 <
> PART 1 <


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After Some Days.... (1 week)

"me" receives a message on her fb account.....

HE's MSG :

" hey! how u doin' girl?... where are you these days? why don;t u msg or call??... i wait for them eagerly..... anyways take care.. missin u!! :) "

ME's REPLY :

" hi!.. i'm fine. howz u?! "

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ME's WORLD :

" OMFG!!!! What the hell is happening?/!! He messages like nothing's ever happened... Doesn't he know what all happened few days back.... Doesn't he remember a single thing..!!!!.... Messaging so casually, as if..... agggrrrhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... "

____________

No reply came for many days...! And one random day, ME met HE online ~

Conversation started... NORMALLY!`~...... talking about things, everyday schedule, whereabouts and things like that!.... 

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ME's WORLD :

" How can he be so insensitive?/!... FORGOT EVERYTHING???.. All my feelings???... HOW CAN HE!!! Talks so normally... .... and even though he rejected me and my love - i would always love him.. just him!!.. No one else... No one knows what's behind this fake smile that i carry! .. :'(

I guess, that's what is in my destiny... NO HIM!!.. So, let it be!... But, i would always love him!!!..."

HE's WORLD : 

" She looks normal... Hmm, may be she got over me!!.. Well, its good that she did!!..

But, how do i tell her, that i said that all just to hide my feelings.... I don't wanna expose my feelings!... Damnn... sometimes, feel that why did i say her so?! .. and other times, its nice that she isn;t dependent on me!!!.. She happy, me happy... THAT'S ALL I WANT! "

______________________________________________________________

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Days passed after that chat.. no messages, no calls, no texts!!!...

Me and He became busy in their own lives... Talking rarely... Speaking nothing!..

( Me was still unaware of He's feelings...

And He never confessed about 'em!!! )   

.

.

He tried calling and texting Me many times,
but Me always rejected his calls, or else would talk rudely.....

REASON: Me decided to keep herself away from He... So, just to make He go farther away from herself... So she could just drift her heart away from him!!...

So she could just stop herself from being hurt everyday!!!! :'(

Slowly, all communication lessened!! Me and He hardly saw eachother now... 

What an irony!!!.. Two people who just couldn't live without each other, shared everything...

were now not even facing eachother!!!!....

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Until, One Day......... When Me called He ...

( rinnggg....!`~ __ )

  ~ PART 7 : tO be cOntinu3d ! ~

lOvestruCk! ♥

Being in a state called love, is umm..... INEXPRESSIBLE!!

It can't be confined in words...
Combination of 26 alphabtes can't describe how it is to be in love...

A feeling, that words become unnecessary! Saying anything, or not saying anything, doesn't matter - coz you'r just 'feeling it' !!! ♥

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I, personally, am a nobody to say anything about What's love.. or anything!
Still, here are some of my words, trying to express something - insignificant yet thoughtful!! :)

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< sigh >

a deep breath!!!

filled with satisfaction, peace, smiles, love, care, tease, a lil' pain, sprinkled with fights and make ups! 

( brings a smile on face, doesn't it?! )

Seeing the word 'love' - and there's just one someone that captures your mind, heart, breath, soul, thoughts, and literally Everything!!

___________

A thousand words spoken, a million things shared, and countless feelings experienced! Yet, at the end of every conversation, all you are left with is wanting a few more moments, some more words, and a lil' more time!..

Smiles, blushes, being lost in thoughts of that one someone...
And yet at the end, all you have is

"Just a SMILE" - a paradoxical one, though!.. containing a whole world in itself!..

A curve, setting so many things straight! :)

______

Wow! Such vast is love.. infinite!

I went from sighs and smiles, to words, then experiences, thought, and back to smile again - yet feel like to go on and on!!

______

 

♥ - Two people, two hearts - ♥

" YOU AND ME " ...

Naaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!

- One soul, one heartbeat -  

" WE " ...

< That suits more! What say?! ♥ >

heartbeat ♥

all the time i thought i was complete in my own world.. not knowing what i was missing!!..


until the time when you came into my lil' boulevard....
and making me realize how empty i was without u!!..

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how i couldn't keep myself from talking to u!
how i became so addicted to you!
how i needed you like air...
how i desired for u like paradise!..

YOU ARE MY HEARTBEAT... <3
and this dumb heart dances to ur tunes!!!

< so glad that i was proved wrong! :) >

♥ Love u! ♥

can't eScape yOur love!! ♥

With you coming in my life.... meaning of endless things changed!

With you by my side, i became a whole of a different person!

Loneliness no longer teases me... instead sitting alone - is all i ask for!!

So, i can be lost in your thoughts..

So, to be just rewinding your.. m sorry.. "OUR" memories..

So, that i get to relive our fights, make ups, smiles.. AGAIN! :)

_________

I put on my earplugs, play a random song, come across a random line...

and

The song lines have a deeper impact upon me...

The words say much more than their usual meaning!

.

.

Is this ADDICTION??.... Umm, can say so!

Coz...

I can't be without talking to you!

I can't be without hearing your voice!

I sit to write anything... and the pencil in my hand - starts doodling itself - things about you!

I find no other topic, except 'you' to write on!

You'r the first person whom i always think about..

My fingers dial your number instantly... and i bet, i can do that - without even looking at the keypad!

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The strum of guitar..

The cool breeze..

The silent noise..

The thumping heart..

The vibrating cell..

The loud thoughts..

The blushing smiles..

Everything reminds me of... You!!!!!

Everything forces me to think of... You!!!!!

Everything makes me realize the presence of... You!!!!!

Everything pushes me closer to... You!!!!!

(__ no matter how hard i try to run away__ )

forever making me realize...

" i can run.. i can hide...

but i cannot escape your love! ♥ "

Why??!!!

why have u started affecting me sooo much?!

why is it that i always look for YOUR name's initial everywhere?!

why am i getting so addicted to you?!

why is it that i can't keep away myself from talking to you?!

why do i get lost in your thoughts...keeping thinking abt u all the time?~!!

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WHY.... WHYYY am i falling for you??/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥

lOve bOund ..

Love... the word ain't beautiful if it lacks YOUR NAME!! ♥
Heart... is just a blood pumping part if it lacks YOUR SOUL!!
Feeling... is just any random thing if it doesn't have YOUR PRESENCE!!
Me... being there doesn't matter if YOU'R NOT WITH ME!!

Is This Addiction?... Umm, " I Don't Know " ~

Is This Insanity?... Umm, " I Don't Know " ~
Is This Love?... Umm, " I Don't Know " ~

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Just the thing "I KNOW" is.....
" You are something more than EVERYTHING! ♥ "

All over again !

"Waiting for something but I don't know what I want
Searching for reasons, reasons to carry on....
Jumping from place to place
With a plan so out of range
Nothing I can do to save me
NOTHING I CAN CHANGE"
 ___________________________

I wanted to feel the pain of true love... and now when i did - I'M ALL SHATTERED!

I try recollecting myself, but i just CAN'T !!!!!!!!!! 

I don't have the much needed strength to do so...

I cry.. I shout!!!!... But i know, you wouldn't hear.......

You did it AGAIN!!!!... You forced me to go out of your life AGAIN - but this time, i'm gone... forever...

I WON'T RETURN!!

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You may think that this is a heartleSs girl... but dead don't have feelings!! When you left, you took my soul with you.... So now, i'm doing nothing more than JUST EXISTING!

Have killed all the emotions inside me. So now, there's no way that

"I'M GONNA GET HURT - ALL OVER AGAIN!"

hate myself 4 lOvin' u!

you'r always there for me, by my side... even if i run miles apart - you follow..

(don't follow, rather say - always with me - like my heartbeat)

i fight with you..say you harsh words.... but you just smile! (darn u)

i try not to think of you... but always find you around!

i try to get away from you... but come all the more closer!

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i hate myself for lovin' u..... </3

 

sOmethin' more than everythin' !

You'r not just any random friend... You mean much more to me, than just a friend... or in your case, say best friend! YOU ARE ABOVE ALL THAT!

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You make me crazy..

You make me smile in the dullest of days..

You have the power to affect me..

Your reply means more than just words..

Your silence is so much painful that i would prefer ripping out my heart instead of going through that!

You distract me!

You make me love you..You Control Me!

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Ain't those enough reasons to prove

that I LOVE YOU!!!

that I CAN'T BE WITHOUT YOU!!!

that YOU ARE ALL WHOM I WANT!!!

that YOU ARE ALL THAT I NEED!!!

that

You are something more than everything!! ♥

___________________

Damnn... Em crazzy about you!

Even in the middle of doin' maths; while i was putting limits and differentiating.. i was integrating myself with you! I subtracted an equation, but heart was multiplying its madneSs for ew!

Why are you such a distractiOn? When will you get off my mind, so i can think of 'anything' else..except you? Don't you get tired...?... Coz you keep roaming in my mind all day; Coz you come in my dreams all night; Coz you keep jumping in my heartbeat!!

 

 You Are Me!

I'm yOu......

How much i love you, you really have no clue! ♥ 

s!mply yOurS ..

yOu are right there infront of me,

my heart starts to beat louder...

yOu pass by, flaShin' your smile,

and me, just stare and wonder!!

yOu sittin' there and havin' fun,

i, lost in your thoughts..

and then yOu glance at me,

making my heart stOp!!

its yOu, i wanna be with,

its yOu, whom i always desire..

but you don't bother,

you dont even know... </3

my feelings shOut at you,

my heart's overflOwin' with lOve..

there's so much that this heart wants to say,

but seeing yOu, i lOse all my words!!

its just yOu, that i want - whOm i need,

and i know yOu'r there with me,.

but somehow, the silence comes in between,

and words are all i need..

i feel yOu, everywhere dear,

yOur vOice is the sOng that my heart dances to..

but words are all 'i' laCk,

and my feelings are still unknOwn to yOu,..

yOu won't ever realize how much i love you,

that's my only cOmplaint, that you dOnt knw..

my heart, my sOul is all filled with yOu - but how do i tell you,

they are already there with yOuuu................ <3

miSs u lOt ..

u... do u remember me??!

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yea!!! i was the one who used to love u soo muchh!

yea!!! i was the one who was addicted to you..

yea!!! i was the one who just couldn't keep herself from talking to you..

yea!!! i was the one who went crazzzzyy over your smile!!!

yea!!! i was the onee.....

nd i am STILL THE ONE!!!... who feels all of that!

but...

whr is the old *yOU*..??..... where has your love gone?..

whr has our relation faded?????!!!!!!! :'( </3

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< i miSs yOu!! ~ lotttt.... plz cOme baCk!!! >

unsaid...

‎" u talking to me.. but i cant respond...

you ask me.. but there's no reply!

you right there infront of me.. and i can just look at you silently!

u sitting alone..but i don't have the guts to say how much i like you!!! "

< plzz understnd ... the feelings which are unsaid!!!.....

the feelings which TU JAANE NA ♥ >

my wordS and yOur Smile ^_^

its the words that i need...

to take your heart away!

its the words that i need...

to tell you what i feel!

its the words that i need...

ITS JUST THE WORDS!

_______

and its only the SMILE that you need...
to do all the things!..

_______

yea! its your smile that i'm crazzy about!

meRi daastan ... MY STORY ♥ < Part 5 >

PreviOus ParTs!

> PART 4 <
> PART 3 <
> PART 2 <
> PART 1 <


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umm... " me's " own world.........(written for 'he')

" There's no such thing as 'beSt friend's love'....... either its full love or no love!'

No middLe path.............. either you dont wana fall for me,or just denying ur feelings fr me!!!!!......

It's all or nothing..! ... WHY DONT U UNDERSTANDD???~!! :(

. . .

i know you love somebody else, and would never feel the same love for me...which you do for her!,... i know this very well!!!.......... but this damnnnn heartt doesn't wanna accept ths!!!!! ..........

it somehow tells me that -

what is unsaid is true ...

the feelings untold do exist ...

the relation undiscovered is the ultimate destiny!!!

________

wanna stop the feelings hurling in this dumb heart ... but this time MIND WON'T ALLOW ! Surprisingly, mind too agrees with the heart!... What to do??

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i tried to convince myself in every possible way that i've you (as a good friend) but you can never be really 'MINE' .......... YOU NEVER WERE!

But, i gueSs - i can't!!!!!!!

How-so-ever harder i try to make you away from me... either by getting rude, or fighting for no-good reason, you come all the more closer to me....

i fall for you all over again!!! And then, get hurt... but DARN YOU!!!.......

you'r always there to care for me, and ask "kya hua??,..." ... as if you know nothing... :'(

YOU KNOW IT ALL... still............................................."

~ PART 6 : tO be cOntinu3d ! ~